How we talk to our kids is more important than what we talk

Why does our tone of voice matter? if you ask yourself. These are just kids. What will they understand? But here is where we go wrong as parents. When an infant can catch on emotions of a mother just by touch, then think, how much our tone of voice will matter? This is what we forget and ignore

Why does the tone of your voice matter? 

1. Low self-esteem

A child, who is often yelled at, especially by the parents, tends to develop low self-esteem. You might not realize it, but your children might be growing up thinking you don’t love them.  It shatters the confidence and morale of the child. The child treats him/herself as incapable of handling  tasks or situations and generally ends up blaming him for all the things that go wrong. This is the exact opposite of what a parent would want their child to feel, right?

2. Less communication

Communication is the key to a healthy relationship between parents and children. So a constant angry tone of voice will eventually create distance. Your child will become less communicative. And a day might come when any kind of communication is not possible. 

3. Indifferent child

Constant scolding will start falling on deaf ears. It will be nothing new to the child. One of the positive parenting tips I would share here is that a subtle warning, a silent stare or a whispered disappointment will get better results.

4. Negative bonding between parent and child

If the atmosphere between you and your child is constantly negative, what is the future? Can you expect a positive and affectionate relationship? Your angry and harsh parenting is creating an anxious and depressed child.  This cycle of negative parenting needs to break. Laugh, have fun, smile and become one with your child from time to time.

Here are a few tips on how you can bring about a change:

1. Observe yourself

You need to understand if the tone of your voice is always angry, are you in a yelling mode all the time? What is the proportion of times that you are angry versus you are affectionate? Positive parenting requires you to be more tender and affectionate than getting angry all the time. Let your child have the freedom to make mistakes and learn. 

2. Understand your trigger

Your tone of voice is angry most of the time, ask yourself, why? Is it work-related stress, a lifestyle problem or just your unhappiness in general? But your child has nothing to do with it. It is solely your problem. You cannot pass on the burden of your life to your little one. Any positive parenting program will sternly advise you against it. Nurture your little one with love and care. You don’t want your baby to grow up as an unhappy human being.

3. Understand your child

Your child has tantrum issues, behavioral problems or has turned into a rebel, then find out the cause. Scolding and punishment will further worsen the situation. You need to become more gentle and affectionate. A rise in the tone of your voice is not what your child wants. Instead, your little one could be looking for a safe retreat in you. Just remember that happy babies are more likely to become happy children and subsequently, happy adults!

4. Identify problem areas

You need to figure out when and why do you start raising your voice on your child. Once in a while, it is required to get angry but it cannot be the norm. At times you have to swallow your anger and deal very patiently. Understand where do you lose your control the most and work on it.  

5. Deal with patience

Parenting is not an easy task. Children today are intelligent, smart, sensitive and susceptible to their external surroundings. One of the most required traits in a parent is that of patience. Without patience, you will eventually turn into a parent who is constantly getting angry and irritated. Result: you will be constantly scolding and reprimanding your child. And the result: a child growing up feeling unloved and lacking in self-confidence. So where do you start checking yourself, if you are losing patience or not? Check your tone of voice.

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